I was studying for my latest psych midterm the other day and ran across several somewhat humorous little tidbits in the chapter called “Disorders of Personality”. So, I thought I would share them.

Exercise: Everyone knows someone who is a narcissist. Think of the most narcissistic person you know. List five of his or her characteristics or behaviors that make you think that this person is a narcissist. How do the acts and characteristics you have listed fit with the symptoms of the narcissistic personality disorder?

This is exactly why (some?) people don’t like psych majors.

Next, we have the section on schizoid personality disorder. Here’s how it’s described:

The schizoid personality is split off (schism), or detached, from normal social relations… They have few or no close friends, and they would rather spend time by themselves than with others… They also typically choose solitary jobs, often with mechanical or abstract tasks, such as machinists or computer programmers.

Already I’m being targeted here. It’s a continuing theme though. Here’s a “case study” for a schizoid:

…

Roger often worked in the lab at night. On several occasions, some of the graduate students complained to the professor that Roger was “staring” at them. When pressed for details, these students said that, when they left their office doors open, they would sometimes turn around and find Roger standing in the doorway, looking at them. Several female graduate students complained that he was “spooky” and kept their office doors locked.

Roger lived with his younger brother, who also went to the same university. The brother apparently handled all the daily chores, such as dealing with the landlord, buying groceries, and arranging for utilities. Roger thus had a protected life and spent most of his time studying, reading, or exploring the Internet.

…

“Exploring the Internet” is a common task with people with personality disorders as well, apparently. Also, who would report to the professor that one of the grad students is kind of loopy? And several did?

Ok, moving on to avoidant personality disorder, defined as:

…a pervasive feeling of inadequacy and sensitivity to criticism from others.

Doesn’t sound too messed up, does it? Well, these people are so thin-skinned that they will actively avoid any social situation out of fear of being judged. Anyways. Oh look! Here’s a case study!

The case of Ellen, avoidant university student. Ellen is a 21-year-old university student who has gone to the university’s psychological clinic with the general complaint that she is uncomfortable in social settings. Because she is so shy and nervous, she keeps her contact with others to a minimum. She is worried about starting new classes next semester and having to be in rooms with total strangers. She is especially worried about her psychology courses, where “they might find out I am a nutcase.” She adds, “They are going to think I am a dysfunctional idiot because I am so shy and I go into a panic at the thought of speaking up in a group of strangers.” She adds that she is thinking of switching her major from psychology to computer science. Although she is curious about people, and therefore likes psychology, she nevertheless feels awkward around them. Computers, she thinks, are much easier to get along with.

…

At the university, Ellen follows a pattern of letting work pile up, then works hard to get it all done. She tries to do a few errands each day, keeps her apartment neat, and goes to the grocery store twice a month. She describes her life as “not very happy, but at least predictable.” She likes exploring the Internet on her home computer…

What? You thought we were done here? We haven’t even gotten to obsessive-compulsive personality disorder.

The obsessive-compulsive person is preoccupied with order and strives to be perfect.

Okay. Goes on to say that they basically spend so much time on ordering, planning and such that it becomes an obsession, and interferes with their personal life. Then, in the are-you-effing-kidding-me moment of the day, we have this:

When they do take time off for recreation, they prefer serious tasks, such as stamp collecting or chess. For hobbies, they pick very demanding tasks or activities that require great attention to detail, such as cross-stitch sewing or computer programming. Even their play looks a lot like work.

I’m not even going to touch that. As if it wasn’t bad enough, here’s the case study:

The case of Rita, an obsessive-compulsive personality. Rita was a 39-year-old computer programmer…

Do we really need more? Seriously. The most ridiculous part is that they literally make no more mention of her computer-programming job or hobby or interest in the rest of the study. I guess they just felt attaching that job would really hit the ol’ point home.

So, just for recap, computer programmers:

1. Tend to have schizoid personality disorder
2. Tend to have avoidant personality disorder
3. Tend to have obsessive-compulsive personality disorder
4. Greatly enjoy “exploring the Internet”
5. Are kind of creepy in general
6. Have joint interests in chess, stamp collecting, and cross-stitching
7. Are the losers of our society

Now, I’ve thought many many times this year that I shouldn’t be in computer science, because I would rather be doing graphic stuff. The only thing keeping me in the program at this point is a general wavering interest and the fact that it’s too late to switch to anything, and at least a CS degree is somewhat flexible.

And I also hate being associated with all these stupid stereotypes, which are apparently being propagated through the exact channel that preaches eliminating them.

All these passages were taken from:

Larsen, Randy J., and David M. Buss. Personality Psychology: Domains of Knowledge About Human Nature. 3rd ed. New York: McGraw-Hill, 2008.